The Sycophant Olympics
The competition for the most obsequious Republican apologist for Trump and Trumpism is in full swing.
There’s a new epidemic in Washington, D.C., and it’s not just RFK, Jr. who’s ignoring it. It’s affecting long-time Republicans who have willingly gone along with everything Trump has done, often in contrast to their own previously stated positions.
This outbreak has reached Olympic-level fervor, so it only seems fitting to pit these sycophants against each other in a fight to the death. (Never mind that the death might be the death of democracy. We’ll set that aside for a moment or two.)
Our government is populated with so-called “establishment Republicans” who have gone along unquestioningly with virtually all of Trump’s crimes, misdemeanors, and sheer incompetence since his ascent in the political realm. There is a universal and now longstanding lack of courage among Republicans in House and Senate. But as Trump’s actions have become more extreme and his lawlessness has become more egregious, the absence of action on the part of Republicans is even more noteworthy.
Take, for example, the recent gift bribe of a $400 million airplane from Qatar. When it’s Rand Paul who is the lone Senator who immediately spoke out publicly about Trump’s blatant flouting of the Constitution, it’s pretty evident how spineless the Republican party has become. Only after a tsunami of bad press about this fiasco did a few others sheepishly voice their tepid opposition, including John Thune and Ted Cruz.
To a person, Trump’s cabinet members have either ardently supported the receipt of the plane or they have remained silent. Perhaps they’re all looking forward to their chance to fly on that “palace in the sky.”
Those in the Trump administration have made the personal, political, and moral calculation that, in an authoritarian regime, they’d rather be on the inside than on the outside.
Let’s take a look at our Olympic competitors. To be sure, these are not newcomers to the political scene — not by a long shot. Our contenders are long-standing D.C. insiders who have been at this game for a long time and clearly know better.
Mitch McConnell
During his time as Senate Majority Leader, Senator Mitch McConnell proudly placed the appointments of hand-picked ultraconservative judges ahead of the best interests of the nation. He used his knowledge of how the Senate operates to manipulate the rules to get right-leaning judges and Supreme Court justices confirmed while blocking the appointments of left-leaning judges and justices.
After a record like that, his next logical step was becoming a complete Trump sycophant. Like so many others, he knew that he could manipulate Trump into doing his bidding, perhaps in exchange for Trump mostly leaving him out of his social media crosshairs.
McConnell may have wobbled a bit in his support for Trump shortly after the January 6 insurrection, bemoaning the fact that the Capitol had been attacked and stating that Trump was “practically and morally responsible” for the events of that day. But in short order, he was back on the side of the January 6 instigator.
McConnell enjoyed so much influence in the Senate that he could have single-handedly ensured that the Articles of Impeachment for Trump’s second (!) impeachment would be voted on and approved by the Senate. Instead, he chose to scuttle that impeachment, paving the way for a second Trump term four years later.
Now that he’s on a track for retirement, he may not be wielding the power he once wielded, but he’s no less a toady than he was before. His willingness support Trump and his cabinet picks right up to the bitter end is as sickening is it is unwavering.
Marco Rubio
There is perhaps no one more rudderless in the current administration than Marco Rubio. There seems to be no "firmly held belief" that he won't immediately abandon if he feels the slightest bit of heat from Felon47. All it takes to confirm this is one glimpse of him sinking into the Oval Office couch while the felon-in-chief and the vice-felon were double-teaming Volodymyr Zelenskyy, yelling insults at the only true leader in that room. The Liddle Marco of the 2016 campaign season has gotten liddler and liddler, sufficientlly ashamed of his association with the goings-on to display his embarrassment but far too spineless to object.
Rubio’s behavior doesn’t fill one with confidence that this somnambulating mediocrity who has somehow managed to ascend to the position of Secretary of State possesses the courage required to stand up for the interests of the United States on the world stage. World leaders are now well aware from Rubio’s previous actions that his word means nothing because he’s totally under Trump’s spell.
Rubio has shown time and time again his willingness to choke back any latent impulse to do the right thing simply so he can stay in Trump’s good graces.
Lindsey Graham
After attaching himself to John McCain in his career-long quest for relevancy and prominence, Sen. Lindsey Graham suddenly found himself to be a parasite without a host immediately after McCain’s death. He barely missed a beat before he attached himself to Donald Trump, and he has sucked up to him ever since. From multiple Mar-a-Lago golf outings to vocal and devoted support for Trump’s most outrageously awful behavior and policies, Lindsey can always be counted on to tuck away what few scruples he has in the deepest corners of his closet.
Check out this qualifying round — an impromptu press conference after Volodymyr Zelenskyy’s White House meeting with Trump, in which he defends Trump’s juvenile outbursts and manages to turn the narrative around to suggest that Zelenskyy was somehow the party who was disruptive:
Just listen to those verbal gymnastics! Lindsey affects a sincere but unconvincing posture as a tough-guy, kept afloat solely by his keenly developed abilities as a skilled political contortionist.
Jim Jordan
Congressman Jim (“Jimmy Shirtsleeves”) Jordan hails from a district in Ohio that is so severely gerrymandered that it looks more like the path of a tornado than a contiguous congressional district. Perhaps the tornado metaphor is appropriate because, after 18 years in Congress, he has virtually no accomplishments in Congress other than tearing things down.
His one special skill is spewing rage-filled rhetoric from his Congressional perch at a breakneck pace, regularly breaking the land speed record for bullshit.
He may not possess much in the way of substance, but his tactics have made him one of Trump’s favorites. What he lacks in intellect, he more than makes up for in ardor and aggressiveness. He can always be counted on to ratchet up the verbal pugilism in defense of any and all outrageous acts his party boss engages in.
In many ways, former wrestler and wrestling coach Jordan and wrestling superfan Trump are a match made in fascist heaven.
Susan Collins
If scoring in the Sycophant Olympics were done solely based on the number of times a competitor voiced the word “concern,” Sen. Susan Collins would be the hands-down winner.
On the continuum between total approval and total excoriation of Trump, she never moves beyond “concern” on that scale, despite numerous opportunities and numerous reasons to do so.
Over her political career, Susan has consistently scored all tens in national Concern competitions, leaving an indelible blot not only herself but also on the state of Maine. She also excels at the Switchback, creating the illusion of perhaps being a decent person but then always voting to demonstrate otherwise.
She may not be the front-runner in the Olympics but she’s a long-time favorite among the Republican crowd as a perpetually supportive teammate for her fellow sycophants.
Lisa Murkowski
Representing the great White north isn’t easy when your core beliefs generally lean a little to the left of your constituents’ beliefs, especially if you want to stay in office. Sen. Lisa Murkowski seems to have perfected the skill of walking on the balance beam, yet when inevitably she falls off the beam, she always seems to fall to her right and she almost always falls in line.
Murkowski may not be the worst of the worst of the Republicans in Congress. But she has a way of always leaving you with the feeling that she’s cozying up to the more extreme Republicans despite the fact that she knows better.
I don’t single out these folks because they’re the only Republicans who have completely suppressed any morals or ethics they may have possessed in order to stay in power. There are many more like them in Congress who are far less prominent but who have the same traits but who have stayed under the media radar for one reason or another.
Make no mistake: These are the people who had the ability to prevent the situation we’re in today and, to some extent, who still have the power to put the brakes on our descent into autocracy. But, so far, not a one of them has demonstrated any genuine inclination to do so.
The individual and collective lack of courage to prevent the complete collapse of our democracy is as shocking as it is pervasive. All the loss of standing in the world, all the downturns in the economy, all the shameful and inhumane actions of the current administration sit squarely on their shoulders.
When the history of this dark period is written, these folks will not be remembered kindly. That’s assuming that the history of this dark period gets written at all before being censored by the autocracy that these folks have enabled.
Not a one of 'em. How do they sleep at night.